Ask a Troll

Anonymous asked: Can humans be polygamous?

Well, they already are, in some cases. For instance, consider the members of some sect or another of the Mormon church, or King Solomon, or Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with polygamy - to each their own, after all.

However, it is true that the vast majority of cultures have a policy of monogamy. As for why this is the case, I can’t say I know.

But consider this scenario. You’re eight years old again and going trick-or-treating. You come up to a house and find a bowl of candy outside (presumably because the master of the house doesn’t want to keep getting up). In most cases, one would just take one piece of candy and move on; that’s the good thing to do. However, the gluttonous gluttons who got there before you took ten pieces of candy apiece. Suddenly, there isn’t enough candy to go around.

So, in general, gender ratios worldwide are roughly equal, given normal circumstances and none of that gender-specific abortion crap. In other words, everyone’s (in general) entitled to pick one person to be their significant other. You (and this is assuming you’re male) are no exception. However, in search of your mate, you find that there aren’t enough women to go around, since Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden married three more women than he was ethically entitled to. Now doesn’t that suck? (If you’re female, a similar concept applies, though it’s nowhere as common).

Perhaps it’s because of this disequilibrium that polygamy causes that monogamy is the norm around the world. The less well-endowed demand their chance at passing their genes to the next generation.

It could also be because of the chasteness of modern society. See, elephant seal bulls fight to the death in a winner-take-all contest of masculinity. The winner of such a competition gets a lot of sex, and the losers get… well, nothing.

Since modern human society isn’t nearly cool enough to permit such a thing as a no rules deathmatch tournament (with sex as the prize, of all things), humans instead are reduced to flirting.

Well, I suppose it’s better than the hair shenanigans from Avatar.