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Anonymous asked: How do you think humanity will end?

Long version: It’s impossible to say exactly how humanity will end, but you can always speculate. Here is a (very) plausible possibility:

First, someone discovers a way to make a nuclear bomb out of baking soda and vinegar. Elementary school science fairs across the nation begin to explode in thermonuclear fireballs.

This is accompanied by an increase in volcanic activity.

At the same time, the stars of Twilight form their own rock band. They collaborate with the Jonas Brothers and Hannah Montana to write a song mourning the losses from the science fair catastrophe. Midway through a nationally televised concert, Robert Pattinson takes off his shirt (and presumably sparkles too). Preteen girls and middle-aged women fall over dead; the combination of euphoric delight and utter revulsion must have killed them. (Feel like suffering the same fate? Click here - warning: cannot unsee).

Preteen girls are loud - very loud. So when the sound of millions of preteen girls around the world simultaneously screaming disturbs Cthulhu from his slumber at the bottom of the ocean, Cthulhu is mad.

However, he/it is too lazy/tired to go around killing/maiming what’s left of humanity.

Instead he calls on his accomplices, the Drain Monsters, to take care of that. (Drain Monsters are those things that live in your sink that make the gurgling sound as the water goes down). So anyway, when everyone goes to brush their teeth at night, they get a nasty surprise. Soon, everyone in countries that have running water suffers an inglorious fate: death by bathroom sink.

Too bad the President of the United States keeps his doomsday control panel in the bathroom. As he falls over, his head strikes the red button of death.

Right then, there’s a solar-magnetic storm. The entire GPS system is knocked offline.

Without guidance, the missiles (most of which would have been aimed at Russia) fly blind and strike other random spots around the world.

Short version: AND THEN EVERYBODY DIES

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