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Anonymous asked: Bill O'Reilly told me to hate France. Shall I begin beating them up right now with their own baguettes?
Au contraire! You see, the French have brought us a number of useful innovations that they should be celebrated for.

Imagine that you’re stuck in the middle of the forest and you need to take a dump, but there’s no toilet paper around. What could be more convenient than a porcelain bidet? Plus, it tickles while it cleans!

Sports Illustrated wouldn’t have their swimsuit issue if it wasn’t for the French! The French, after all, invented the bikini and named it after a nuclear test site. How ironic.

And of course, who can forget the guillotine? It’s an indispensable tool for creating that French delicacy, tête d’un noble sur un métal argenté.
Besides, if you had to beat up the French with their own baguettes, you’d have quite a bit of trouble doing so - they’re surprisingly hard to catch when they’re running away.