Ask a Troll

Anonymous asked: What is the point of love, life, and existence? Aren't we all going to be dust in the wind someday?

Long answer: Is there a point to existence? Well, you are, after all, but a bag of water, protein, sugar, fat, and organic chemicals that happens to be well-organized internally. So science would say “probably not.”

However, like lemmings, people don’t normally commit mass-suicide once they realize their lives are worthless. In reality, people have developed very different ways of dealing with this difficult question.

The first is to play ignorant. In other words, LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEARRRR YOUUUUUUUUU LA LA LA LA MY LIFE HAS A PURPOSE LA LA LA. Most people choose this method, though it seems like you, having asked the question in the first place, have already rejected it. Good lad/lass.

You see, while that approach is acceptable, it’s like patching a punctured tire with bubble gum. Simply ignoring the question that you posed will always leave doubt constantly lurking in your mind like a troll on a forum, waiting, anticipating, preparing for the right moment to strike and bring forth chaos.

A second way is to subscribe to a religion. That way, to you, life becomes simply a stepping stone on the way to either:

1. sitting on a cloud chilling out with winged babies, or
2. sustaining second-degree burns until the end of days.

Doesn’t seem like a very good choice to me, somehow (though winged babies are pretty cool).

A third way is suicide, often with the perceived reward of the 72 virgins. (Ask a Troll does not endorse this!)

A fourth way is to accept the pointlessness of life and live happily. It works, sure, but it’s a bit like consoling a criminal on death row by telling him that he would have died anyway. However, the criminal’s best choice is to simply accept his fate and live his remaining days happily.

After all, aren’t we all condemned to die? Perhaps it’s best we simply accept it and enjoy our lives.

Short answer: Who cares?

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